Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days, Benjamin Franklin famously opined.
Yet one Florida houseguest has managed to outstay his welcome even more quickly, while selflessly leaving behind a distinctive odor as a token of his appreciation.
The unfortunate host was at a party in downtown Melbourne on Saturday, when he ran into Colin Geib, whom he describes as “a friend of a friend.”
Geib, 23, was inebriated, unable to provide his address, and had no way of getting home. And thus the man charitably stepped in, inviting Geib back to his residence to give him “a safe place to be,” according to police records reported by Orlando news station WKMG.
He let the unexpected guest sleep in one room while bedding down for the night in another.
However, the man’s peaceful slumber was rudely interrupted Sunday morning by noises coming from his visitor’s room. When he went to investigate, he was greeted with the less than desirable spectacle of Geib “peeing everywhere in the room,” according to the affidavit.
The man repeatedly asked Geib to leave, but the latter refused and became aggressive.
“He came at me with his dick out and attacked me,” the victim said in the affidavit.
Launching his 6-foot, 170-pound frame, Geib punched his kindly host several times and tried to choke him while pushing him against a wall.
Luckily, the man was able to muster the strength to wrestle Geib out of the front door before calling the cops.
Responding officers found ample remnants of the carnage, including blood on the front door, holes in the walls and a room soaked in urine.
Geib appeared not to dispute the victim’s version of events when questioned, saying to police: “You heard the whole story; there is nothing I need to tell you.”
He was arrested on charges of battery, indecent exposure and property damage.
 | Melbourne, Florida |
|---|---|
| Location: | on Florida’s Space Coast, 60 miles southeast of Orlando |
| Population: | 82,826 |
| Median Household Income: | $45,938 |
| Quirky Fact: | Melbourne’s phone area code, 321, deliberately evokes the blast-off sequence before a space shuttle launch. It was dreamt up by one resident to pay homage to the large number of space shuttles launched through the area. |
now that is not a very nice house guest! sounds like he needs some potty training too