Bank robbers don’t normally feel compelled to explain their motivation – and the rest of us just assume it’s because they could use the readies.
But there’s nothing normal about these times.
A Texas bank robber thought a proper account of his behavior would make for a smoother job last week – and so he slipped the teller a note detailing that he’d missed out on both a coronavirus stimulus check and a government loan.
The conscientious crook targeted Woodforest National Bank in Houston on July 8, passing a teller a handwritten note setting out his threatening demands and also his Hollywood-worthy back story.
“I didn’t get a stimulus or that 10k loan,” his demand note read. “I lost my business to Covid so please make this easy and comply,” it continued.
In the message, the robber threatened to start shooting if the teller made “any suspicious moves.”
“I don’t wanna hurt nobody but will if I have to,” the note read. “Don’t make anything noticeable!”
Despite the robber’s threat, it’s not clear if he was actually carrying a gun, according to police.
The teller didn’t see a weapon but wisely decided to play it safe and give the suspect an undisclosed amount of cash.