Bears burgle cabin for beer

“You can’t give a baby booze,” the British comedy double act Reeves and Mortimer were fond of saying.

But it turns out you can give a bear booze. If you don’t, some paws may well pilfer that bottle stash in any case.

That valuable lesson was learned last week in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, where two friends holidaying in a rental cabin endured an uncomfortably close encounter with a gang of ursine dipsos.

Michelle Eberhart and her friend were in the cabin on Friday morning while their husbands were out playing golf, when they noticed an unannounced visitor at the back door.

“She just started pointing and I was like, ‘what?’ and so I turned and looked and there’s a bear just putting his full force on the door. And then the door opens,” Eberhart said, according to WATE-TV.

When the black bear crashed clean through the locked door and entered the cabin, the women wisely retreated to a bedroom for safety.

However, the powerful animal was not alone: three other beary buddies were hanging out by the porch.

“It was just almost surreal, it was just a fight-or-flight, like I just have to remove us from this situation and make sure that we’re at least in a safe place,” Eberhart said of the frightening experience.

Police responding to a call for help were able to get the fearsome furry intruders to leave – but not before they managed to loot some choice food and drink for their troubles.

Two stolen beers undeniably take pride of place in the shaggy crooks’ hoard. They also made off with the necessaries for a midnight feast: five pounds of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, a pound of M&M’s, two pounds of Sour Patch Kids, two bags of potato chips, and two Diet Cokes, according to Eberhart.

More puzzlingly, the animals swiped 20 Zyrtecs, though who’s to say one of them isn’t a hay fever sufferer.

The bear break-in was an unusual incident, according to Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency spokesperson Matt Cameron.

“It’s really not typical bear behavior for them to come on to someone’s porch and start looking for food. That means those bears have been around humans and have received handouts or have found a food source around a dwelling,” he said.