In a plot twist no one saw coming, a woman’s self-aware accessory turned out to be stuffed with exactly what it claimed not to contain.
All is not what it seems: Teryn Acri's misleading tote bag (Brevard County Sheriff)
In a plot twist no one saw coming, a woman’s self-aware accessory turned out to be stuffed with exactly what it claimed not to contain.
Let’s file this one under “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up.” Teryn Acri, a 31-year-old Florida woman, has proven once again that irony is alive and well—though she might wish it weren’t. Just days after bonding out of jail on drug trafficking charges, Acri found herself back in the clink thanks to a tote bag that literally broadcast her alleged activities.
The debacle unfolded when the car Acri was riding in was pulled over by a Brevard County deputy last week. The driver, perhaps overly optimistic, assured officers there was “nothing illegal” in the vehicle. Cue Aurora, a police K9 with a nose for drama (and drugs), who quickly sniffed out a couple of suspicious bags belonging to Acri.
One of those bags featured a bold declaration: “Definitely Not A Bag Full Of Drugs.” Spoiler alert—it was, in fact, a bag full of drugs. The Brevard County Sheriff’s Office, apparently giddy at the irony, described the find with all the glee of a dad landing a perfect pun:
“Well, unfortunately for him, this is the part you just can’t make up,” their Facebook post proclaimed, relishing the absurdity. “The bag was filled with snacks… nah, just kidding—it was actually drugs!”
Inside the not-so-innocent tote, deputies found a veritable pharmacy’s worth of illicit goodies: methamphetamine, needles, Narcan, digital scales, baggies, cut straws, and other drug paraphernalia. No word on whether there was also a t-shirt reading “Definitely Not Breaking the Law.”
Acri, who was already out on a $15,500 bond for similar charges earlier this month, now faces a familiar trio of accusations: trafficking meth, possession with intent to sell, and possession of drug paraphernalia. Brevard County Sheriff’s Office wasn’t exactly subtle in their condemnation:
“In Brevard County, we have zero tolerance for crime, especially when it comes to people putting poison out on our streets!!” they wrote, ensuring their point hit home with all the subtlety of a Florida summer storm.
Acri remains in jail awaiting a new bond. In the meantime, her tote bag—while painfully on the nose—might just go down in the annals of criminal history as one of the boldest, most self-incriminating accessories ever carried into a police investigation.
Moral of the story? If you’re going to commit a crime, leave the ironic tote at home. Or better yet, just don’t commit crimes.
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