South

Man busted for riding lawnmower drunk on highway

Florida resident with multiple prior DUI convictions tells deputy “Just take me to jail” after admitting he’s too wasted to walk.

If you don’t want the cops to pull you over, be as inconspicuous as possible on the road.

That conventional wisdom was ignored last week by a thirsty Florida man who was surely not astounded to be busted for riding a lawnmower blind drunk in the middle of a highway.

Paul Burke, of Fort McCoy, was arrested August 5 on Highway 316 in Marion County, after being spotted astride the ride-on grass cutter traveling far more slowly than the posted 55mph limit, the Marion County Sheriff’s Office said.

Dashcam and bodycam footage posted to Facebook captured the moment Deputy Richard Jentsch came across the distinctive road user and decided to pulled him over.

“You know you’re in the road, right?” Jentsch asks Burke in the video.

“Was I?” Burke replies.

Jentsch then goes for the jugular: ““How much you have to drink tonight?”

“Eh, a couple,” Burke parrots in time-honored fashion.

“A couple?” Jentsch responds incredulously. “I think it’s a little more than a couple.”

Jentsch later reported that Burke smelt of booze and had slurred speech.

Admitting that he has “no driver’s license at all,” the befuddled Burke then attempts to perform exercises to prove his sobriety, but is forced to stop and concede he’s unable to walk.

“I have had maybe a little too much to drink tonight,” Burke discloses. “Well, can we just give me a ticket and be done with that?”

Not keen on that proposal, Jentsch asks Burke to attempt the sobriety exercise one more time.

“No sir,” Burke responds. “Just take me to jail.”

The lawnmower lush was obligingly arrested on a DUI charge and taken to the Marion County Jail. He was no longer in custody Tuesday, according to jail records.

Paul Burke in his booking photo
(Marion County Sheriff’s Office)

Burke’s latest brush with the law was no aberration. He has three previous convictions for DUI, and has had his license suspended or revoked seven times for previous DUIs or refusals to submit to a breath test, officials said.

The Sheriff’s Office warned that such reckless Burkean behavior can ultimately cost lives.

“Driving a lawnmower in the middle of the road where the speed limit is 55 mph is dangerous and illegal … add being drunk into the mix, it can become fatal,” it said on Facebook.

Latest Stories

Karaoke Meltdown: Florida Man Fires Gun Over Missing Mic

Denied his moment in the spotlight, a Clearwater man turned a bar parking lot into his own action movie—until police stepped in.

8 hours ago

Texas Embalmer Allegedly Mutilates Sex Offender’s Corpse in Bizarre Revenge Act

Houston funeral worker accused of taking posthumous justice into her own hands, leaving a crime scene fit for a horror flick.

5 days ago

NJ Maniac Shoots Married Neighbors Before Killing Himself in Mansion After Standoff with Cops

Mystery surrounds motive of John Adamo who shot husband and wife before turning the gun on himself.

7 days ago

Kidnapped baby found alive 25 years later in Mexico – mom still on the run

Connecticut toddler kidnapped by her mother 25 years ago has been found alive in Mexico, while authorities continue searching for the fugitive mother who snatched her in 1999.

2 weeks ago

Fake NBA Rep Swipes $770K in Tiffany Diamonds, Eats Evidence in Bizarre Getaway

A Texas man posing as an NBA insider tried to finesse a high-end jewelry heist—but cops had the last laugh when they caught him with stolen diamonds in his stomach.

2 weeks ago

New Jersey Spa Owner Soon Bang Busted for Running a Not-So-Relaxing Business

Cops raided Oasis Spa and found more than just massage oil—leading to charges against its 63-year-old owner.

3 weeks ago

This website uses cookies.