South

Man busted for riding lawnmower drunk on highway

Florida resident with multiple prior DUI convictions tells deputy “Just take me to jail” after admitting he’s too wasted to walk.

If you don’t want the cops to pull you over, be as inconspicuous as possible on the road.

That conventional wisdom was ignored last week by a thirsty Florida man who was surely not astounded to be busted for riding a lawnmower blind drunk in the middle of a highway.

Paul Burke, of Fort McCoy, was arrested August 5 on Highway 316 in Marion County, after being spotted astride the ride-on grass cutter traveling far more slowly than the posted 55mph limit, the Marion County Sheriff’s Office said.

Dashcam and bodycam footage posted to Facebook captured the moment Deputy Richard Jentsch came across the distinctive road user and decided to pulled him over.

“You know you’re in the road, right?” Jentsch asks Burke in the video.

“Was I?” Burke replies.

Jentsch then goes for the jugular: ““How much you have to drink tonight?”

“Eh, a couple,” Burke parrots in time-honored fashion.

“A couple?” Jentsch responds incredulously. “I think it’s a little more than a couple.”

Jentsch later reported that Burke smelt of booze and had slurred speech.

Admitting that he has “no driver’s license at all,” the befuddled Burke then attempts to perform exercises to prove his sobriety, but is forced to stop and concede he’s unable to walk.

“I have had maybe a little too much to drink tonight,” Burke discloses. “Well, can we just give me a ticket and be done with that?”

Not keen on that proposal, Jentsch asks Burke to attempt the sobriety exercise one more time.

“No sir,” Burke responds. “Just take me to jail.”

The lawnmower lush was obligingly arrested on a DUI charge and taken to the Marion County Jail. He was no longer in custody Tuesday, according to jail records.

Paul Burke in his booking photo
(Marion County Sheriff’s Office)

Burke’s latest brush with the law was no aberration. He has three previous convictions for DUI, and has had his license suspended or revoked seven times for previous DUIs or refusals to submit to a breath test, officials said.

The Sheriff’s Office warned that such reckless Burkean behavior can ultimately cost lives.

“Driving a lawnmower in the middle of the road where the speed limit is 55 mph is dangerous and illegal … add being drunk into the mix, it can become fatal,” it said on Facebook.

Latest Stories

Judge Busted! Arrest Sparks Firestorm Over Immigration, Judicial Independence and Separation of Powers

A Wisconsin judge is at the center of a growing national debate after being arrested by the FBI for allegedly helping an undocumented immigrant evade ICE agents.

10 months ago

Texas Mortuary Worker Busted for Corpse Experiments

Whistleblower says a female co-worker faked documents, experimented on dismembered limbs, and cremated the remains at a North Austin mortuary.

11 months ago

School Official Busted for Defecating in Beer Cave

Pennsylvania nutrition director finds herself in deep trouble after turning a convenience store cooler into an unlicensed restroom.

11 months ago

Manhattan Subway Horror as Corpse Abused on R Train

Cops are hunting a Bronx man accused of one of the most disturbing subway crimes in recent memory – and that’s saying something.

11 months ago

Sex scandal explodes in Cambridge: Docs, dons & pols named in luxury brothel ring

It’s the high-class hooker scandal shaking Boston’s elite—34 well-heeled men, including doctors, executives, and a city councilor, unmasked as alleged johns in a secret luxury sex ring stretching from Cambridge to D.C.

11 months ago

Green Beret’s Wife Charged After His Dismembered Body Turns Up in Pond

When Clint Bonnell told his wife he was leaving her for another woman, prosecutors say she had a deadly – and messy – response.

11 months ago

This website uses cookies.