“Thrill-seeking” park pooper admits his number (two) is up

A Wisconsin man is giving up his main job, although it seems his talents were going to waste all along.

Jeffrey Churchwell, 60, who retires from his role as an English teacher at Milton School District later this month, has confessed to habitually defecating in Natureland Park in Whitewater, Wisconsin, according to a report published in the Janesville Gazette.

For two years he routinely left human waste and toilet paper on and around a park building which had no bathroom, at a frequency of up to 5 days a week, and sometimes several times a day.

Churchwell was finally rumbled on Oct. 8 when a parks worker showed a sheriff’s deputy surveillance footage of the suspect caught in the act along with images of the suspect’s vehicle, a gray Chevy Malibu.

Later that day, the deputy spotted the vehicle being driven by Churchwell near the park and pulled him over.

Churchwell admitted his foul deeds after learning of the damning visual evidence.

He explained that he did his business at the park both for convenience and to be disrespectful.

The teacher has agreed to pay $5,705 in restitution to the Public Works Department, which cleaned up after him. He also faces $365 in fines, according to the report.

In an email sent to the sheriff’s deputy the day after he was caught, Churchwell expressed remorse for his dirty hobby.

“I’m so disappointed in myself. I have the great opportunity to teach ‘Political Rhetoric.’ … In this class, I stress the importance of involved citizenship. And then there I am being a lousy citizen of Walworth County. My hypocrisy now sickens me,” he wrote.

“After REALLY thinking about why I did what I did,” Churchwell continued, “I came to the conclusion that I allowed my thrill-seeking, self-indulgent pride and ego both get the best of me.”