West Point cadet crowdfunds for dinner date with porn star in vain

“Charity sees the need, and not the cause,” the old proverb goes.

That may explain why one cadet from the U.S. Military Academy at West Point in upstate New York sought charitable help for his own needs.

The young man in question was commendably creative in his efforts to mobilize the generosity of others, but he may now sadly be left having to take matters wholly into his own hands.

The unidentified recruit set up an unusual GoFundMe page over the weekend under the username “Mr. Krabs.” Its worthy aim: to raise money for travel and lodgings, so that his favourite blue movie star, Diamond Foxxx, could be his date for the academy’s annual winter banquet.

The fundraising page, which has since been removed, was entitled “Help Me Bring Diamond Foxxx To YWW” – a reference to the service academy’s Yearling Winter Weekend. “Mr. Krabs” logged it, fittingly enough, in the category “Dreams, Hopes & Wishes.”

“Diamond Foxxx agreed to go to Y dubs with me if I can pay for her plane ticket and hotel room”, the page blurb read.  “Problem is I’m on the yuk payroll and I have no money. Please help a young boy’s dream come true.”

Benefactors responded positively to the candid appeal, helping it rake in $370 dollars of its $1,200 target in just a few days. But unfortunately for the cadet his superiors did not take such a philanthropic view.

One of the donors, a former West Point graduate who declined to be named, shared with the military news website Task and Purpose a message from the cadet that explained: “I was advised by those with much higher rank than me to discontinue the campaign and inform the actress that I can no longer bring her.”

The U.S. Military Academy Public Affairs Office implied in a statement to the same website that the cadet was not forced to cancel the appeal but instead “promptly removed the page from the site after consulting with his peers.”

However, the statement cautioned that “Federal law prohibits members of the military from using their official positions for personal gain.” “This prohibition extends to using or appearing to use ones military status to solicit gifts of money,” it added.

Crazy America was unable to reach Diamond Foxxx for comment, though we hope the disappointing news was broken to her gently.

Mercifully, the cadet still has time to find a replacement date for the event, which takes place Jan. 31 to Feb. 1.

He now ought to set his sights on a more economical option.