The cockier the criminal, the more audacious the crime.
Certainly, no one can say that the thief who made off earlier this month with a ginormous dildo from a Las Vegas sex shop lacked balls.
The masked man was caught on surveillance video July 14 calmly strolling into the Déjà Vu Love boutique in broad daylight and heading straight for a 3-foot tall, 40-pound dildo proudly displayed on the shop floor.
He then serenely slings the monumental member across his shoulder before nonchalantly retracing his steps back past the security scanners and out the door, the footage shows.
The unidentified man stuffed the stolen shaft into a white car similar to a Dodge Caliber and made a getaway before employees cottoned on to the deed, according to the police report.
They say crime doesn’t pay, but this crook has a keen eye for lucrative work – the purloined phallus, which goes by the name of Moby Dick, retails at an eye-watering $1,200.
Déjà vu is now offering a cash reward for any information leading to Moby Dick’s safe return from the oceans of iniquity.