Ohio Woman Jailed After Turning Cat Into Dinner

She’s no longer eating the cats.

In a plot twist no pussy could have predicted (let alone survived), a Canton, Ohio woman has been sentenced to a year in the slammer for killing and eating one of her furry neighbors.

Allexis Ferrell, 27, got her just desserts on Monday, after her sick feline feast left a judge—and the internet—completely floored.

“To me, you present quite a danger to our community,” Stark County Common Pleas Judge Frank Forchione told Ferrell during sentencing, according to the Massillon Independent. “I don’t know what could prompt anyone to want to eat a cat.”

The August incident involved Ferrell—brace yourself—on all fours in a yard, chowing down on the poor cat while horrified neighbors watched. Police arrived to find her mid-meal, capturing the disturbing scene on bodycam footage. One incredulous officer asked, “Why did you kill the cat?” A question we’re all still asking here at Crazy America.

The story gained even more traction in September amidst the furore over President-elect Donald Trump’s the unrelated (and false) claim that Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio were eating local pets. Officials clarified that Ferrell, a Canton native, was not connected to that mess—just this one.

In court, Judge Forchione let loose. “You’ve embarrassed this county. You’ve embarrassed this nation. More importantly, you’ve embarrassed yourself,” he said. Ferrell, who pleaded guilty to animal cruelty, will tack the one-year sentence onto an existing 18-month stint for prior theft and child endangerment convictions.

Prosecutor Chelsea Small didn’t sugarcoat the situation, calling it “one of the most disturbing” cases of her career. Meanwhile, Ferrell’s attorney, Stephen Kandel, pointed to substance abuse as a driving factor. According to the Massillon Independent, she’ll enter inpatient treatment after her release—presumably to address whatever life choices led her to think cats belong on the dinner menu.

It’s a case that’s left neighbors, prosecutors, and anyone who’s ever owned a pet shaking their heads. As Judge Forchione put it, “I can’t express the disappointment, shock, and disgust this crime has brought to me.” And frankly, we’re all right there with him.