Earlier this year, we brought you the story of the Florida senior who set his hospital bed ablaze in a desperate bid for attention.
An Ohio woman seemingly tried to go one better at the weekend, when she phoned emergency services about a supposed inferno in her nether regions.
As it turns out, though, sometimes there really is smoke without fire.
Katrina Morgan, 50, got through to cops in Port Clinton at around 10 p.m. Saturday, as you simply have to do in a serious crisis.
The reason for the call? Her “p—-y” was on fire, according to a police report of the incident.
On the 911 call, Morgan allegedly asked police if the fire department’s “hose is working,” before straining the phallic metaphor further by pleading: “I need somebody to come put it out with their hose.”
Taking no chances, police responded only to find Morgan at her friend’s home with no hint of a smoulder.
However, the place was littered with empty bottles. Her friends later admitted to officers they had all been drinking and that Morgan was inebriated, but they denied seeing her on the phone.
As cops moved to arrest Morgan for making false reports and disrupting public services, she became agitated and resisted.
With handcuffs now on and the prank turned sour, she continued to struggle and scream, only calming down when officers threatened to use a stun gun, according to the report.
After Port Clinton Police shared a local news story about the incident on their Facebook page on Monday, some commentators expressed sympathy for Morgan and questioned the need to publicize the case further.
However, others suggested the publicity would help deter future hoax callers.
The charges now facing Morgan are certainly no laughing matter: disrupting public services, making false alarms, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct.